Death is the most terrifying thing in the whole world, we all fear it.

But I guess what we fear the most is not the idea of us dying, on the contrary, the idea to lose someone we love is the most terrifying thing we could ever face and feel.

From the most realistic words I heard about death and the feeling you have when it happens to someone dear to your heart, and anyone can relate to, this feeling of anger, loneliness and despair, that nothing in the world makes sense at those particular moment, that the world is cruel and unfair by it all possible means and ways:

“Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. I could tell you who said it, but who the hell cares.

It all just seems so fake.This idea that good things happen to good people and there’s magic in the world, and that the meek and righteous will inherit it.There’s too many good people who suffer for someting like that to be true.There are too many prayers that get unanswered.Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it’s all going to be okay.”You’re gonna be okay.”But it’s not okay. And once you know that, there’s no going back. There’s no magic in the world…at least not today there isn’t.

I was thinking about the finality of it all – how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. It’s too enormous to think about. It’s too hard. And then you’re just supposed to go on, right, like just deal with it, I mean really you’re only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days. I don’t have any jokes to tell.As a matter in fact I hope I never hear another joke as long as I live. And the old days are just that, they’re old days, that are .. gone.

I hate to tell myself to just be happy. But I don’t feel happy. And when I try to change it, when I try to remember what being happy felt like, I can’t. I don’t feel joy. I don’t feel inspired. I feel numb.”

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