“I feel a sin coming on”

Afternoon-Walk

These couple of days am having the strangest feeling since a while. My dreams about you came back after a very long time. It all has to do with you being a part of my almost daily life. And the thing that we actually met since my bday brought me back to lots of confusion and an emotional conflict: happy, excited, alive but also cautious. All because of our history together throughout all those years.

I can’t deny the fact that I am satisfied of what i am getting from you, especially when we went out again, just you and me. Although it was same old same us, but the fact that you are trying at least to get something back is always something and a big deal for me. And this is what no one will understand and everyone will blame me some day about this, but honestly I don’t care because I am enjoying it, so let it be while it lasts as am singing to myself “it’s alright if you want to get used”, so maybe i want to get used, and that is fine with me as long as we are together, no matter what our relationship is.

After the night out, i dreamed a beautiful dream where we were holding hands and walking, and you were holding me so tight, I’ve had this dream so many times, but this time i felt like it was so real, like it was a definitive confirmation that you want this as much as i do. And i knew after couple of days that u were sick, so i knew that my dream must meant something, and i wish that u can admit it some day that you need me as much as i need you in my life.

These couple of days, i literally feel a sin coming on, because i know i should not get carried away with my emotions and thoughts, but i cant help it anymore. And despite the things happening at work that should keep me away from those feelings and thoughts, i cant help but hoping that one day all would change for something bigger.

But as expected, when u get a little bit closer, you take some time to make a distance for a while. And again, my dreams showed it to me, when i was trying to get ur attention and keep you near, and you were trying to get further away and busy. But not as previous situations, now i understand u more and i will respect this, because i know this is ur way and because u will never change.

So till we meet or talk again, and till kingdome come, i will always be just one call away from you no matter what, i will always be there !

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