I am writing tonight for a glance back to a time where nothing in the world seem important more than just to be madly and deeply crazy for something or someone.
While I sat on my bed, watching one of my old time favorite series, those memories from a long time ago kept coming back to my mind and made me smile.
They made me feel 16 again, waiting for the show to start, so that I could live that fantasy romance that I was dreaming to have. My favorite character that looks like my crush, my big crush actually, my neighbor.
Everyday, I was finding a reason to go down stairs to this shop at our neighborhood, to buy my favorite chocolate, which still is till now, just to see him closer, and stare at his eyes or pass by him, to get maybe a Hi or a simple smile.
When I was re-watching today, I was having the same chocolate, and I could tell that chocoprince (my favorite) never tasted better. And in one moment, all those feelings of peace, love, passion and desire came back to me. Of course, my hot cup of coffee did its magic too, it also never tasted better.
In one moment, I was back in my old room, filled of those posters everywhere where my big crush was the dominant one. And I remember staring at his picture for hours, talking to him secretly in my mind as if he was actually there listening, as if he was actually my crush.
I remember all those magical feelings when I hear his voice talking to his friends down there. And I remember all those nights spent on the balcony where he was standing in front of me too.
But now, everything changed. It’s been almost 10 years now that I didn’t actually seen him around. He is far away, happily married, that’s what it seems. The war changed everything.
Sometimes, I wonder, if I would greeted him back and accepted his offer when I was a little girl to get to know him better, would it change our story? would I become close? Would we create something? I guess from all my mistakes and all my actions, it is the only thing I regret not doing in my life. And if time turned back to that moment at the bakery, I would choose to welcome him to our life and neighbor. It would be the best decision and action I would ever make.
To wherever he is right now, and with whoever he is right now, this goes to him. I really do hope and wish he is happily living and safe and loved.
This to my fantasy living forever in my own creek !