Happily Ever After

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Yesterday marked an epic important day that will stay in History for ever. All the world was watching an exceptional phenomenal magical modern fairytale royal wedding that mixed two different cultures and heritages and injected an era where we could witness the beginning of a new world where hundreds of years of traditions were exchanged with love and only love despite all.

Most of the world welcomed this extremely perfect royal wedding, while others were still processing the event. Yes love has conquered all barriers and History that made men once fight and kill and steal the life and freedome of other men just for different race or culture or skin color.

Yesterday was a miracle of God that love exists inside every human being only if we accept it and let it show. The sermon served by a black priest in an old chappel of hundreds of years of age belonging to a heritage of the people who were once taking black people as slaves was historical point in the right direction for reminding us of who we really are, and the purpose of us living in this world and emphasizing the most powerful and meaningful feeling amongst all: Love !

“When love is the way — unselfish, sacrificial, redemptive, when love is the way. Then no child would go to bed hungry in this world ever again. When love is the way. We will let justice roll down like a mighty stream and righteousness like an ever flowing brook. Wen love is the way poverty will become history. When love is the way the earth will become a sanctuary. When love is the way we will lay down our swords and shields down by the riverside to study war no more. When love is the way there’s plenty good room, plenty good room for all of God’s children”. A beautifully memorizable words that will mark for years and decades to come.

The love story of the newly royal wed is indeed a fairytale. They were like two ordinary people that went out on a blind date and the magic and chemistry and that fire sparks happened between them. Despite from where they come, they declared their historical love that was blessed yesterday by marriage bond. I could see her telling herself that it’s an every girl dream that is coming true. The way they looked to each other, the smiles the whispering words, the kiss, it was just like watching a happy ending movie that rarely becomes true in real life. But it did !

The wedding ceremony was the hit for the whole world. And as much as I felt the love and yes maybe a little of jealousy, but I also felt that sometimes people can be blinded by something that should be also the center of attention, especially when they are in an indirect or direct way leading to the injustice lived.

Days before the wedding, people, children were dying at Gaza for protesting against the injustice toward their territories, which is a clear message of their suppremacy from that land of theirs. The land, that was in time forcefully taken from them and presented to others by some kind of international agreement approved by UK at the time. And the night before the wedding, children were killed and injured in a massive shotgun accident inside a school in the US. which makes me wonder about the message this wedding is trying to show. Would it be for the justice all over the world, for ending the wars, the hate among people, and instead spreading the love all over inside and outside the Kingdom walls?

Black people have fought for hundreds of years for their freedome from a fact that was forced on them. But their will to make a change and break the walls have led them to the most powerful positions in the world, and now to the royal kingdom. It happened, not without any difficulties or sacrifices or hard work, but with fierce strength and hope for a better future for their entire community. I wish we could do the same as they did, to fight for our right position and force our freedome from every intruder. We can live in a peace and love with each other, despite our differences and believes. If we can unit our will to love and to live, we can begin seeing our similarities and compassion for each other as human being, and we will learn to accept and embrace each other. This is what I am hoping to see someday, a world where the love we witnessed yesterday in the eyes of the prince and her higness to be as contagious as ever inside the heart and mind of us all. It is a message for all of us to step aside our fights and wars, and welcome Love in all aspects against all hatred and evilness happening around the world.

And although it is a wish that seems to be far away from achieving, knowing the situation of people at higher positions and the mind of some people, but it is not impossible, as miracles and happy endings will happen in real life, just like this wedding happened.

I believe in a world where we can show and emphasize the love. I believe if we believe the same we will reach our goals. Some of us did and made Lebanon to be viewed in a positive view all around the world: Elie Saab, Shakira, Amal Clooney, Nadine Labaki to name a few. We can be proud of them and proud of ourselves if we took their lead and showed a best picture we all want to be seen, a brighter future for all far away from political games and racial and ethnic issues. We come to this world once, to make a marker in each other’s life, to make a mark in history, if not in written history in our family, friends and children’s history, and then to leave this world as we came with nothing at all except our work done while we were living spirits in this Universe.

At the end of the day, and in the chaos of all this propaganda, all I could think of is that moment when the prince looked at his bride and told her how amazing she looks, and the tears he had when seeing her at her wedding gown. At that moment, I saw the reflection of your eyes staring at mine with the same passion and feeling and love, someday. It is a dream, my dream ! And if Meghan’s dream came true, mine could make it too, so I wished for you to come around one day, I wished to be us together in this world, to stand side by side, in sickness and in health, in richer and in poorer, to go to all those places I’m dying to experience with you, only you, this would be my own fairtytale, you would be my own prince, and I could live happily evert after in your kingdom, in your heart. I just hoped and wished,,,

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Home Sweet Home

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Since I was a teenage girl, I used to have this secret place for my own at my hometown. When I was sad, happy, upset, disappointed by people or even when I was feeling a little bit of nostalgia, I went down to my place for some peace of mind, heart and soul.

I remember dreaming of owning a place there and wishing that someday it would be mine.

Well Karma did its job, and here I am now after many years, having this place for myself. Well it turns out to be that my mom and dad own the lands there next to each other. And now after 9 years of constructions, we finally had our first nights at our Home.

Strange how a piece of land makes you feel that you belong and exist in this world. And strange how you get attached to it, through all the memories you make and all what it really means to you, or whom it reminds you of. This is the beauty of existance: belief and moments to embrace this belief and share it with people that mean the world to you.

Am always safe there, am always happy. Even when am feeling sad, just a look at the surroundings makes me feel ok again. This weekend was a good retreat for me. And like if the scenery and cold and rain were not enough, I also had a dream about you. I was waiting for you at some place which should be yours, with your mom and my mom, and we waited and waited but you did not show up until we left. But just the idea of you in my dream was enough to enlighten my day. It was a perfect rainy cold day that I enjoyed and wished we could never leave it. I also imagined how it could be someday if we had the chance to sit together there, just us.

Well lately, am wishing for lots of things, and I keep thinking that we come to this world as a journey. I have too many wishes and hopes and things I want to say and do. I hope someday I could say and do and get all what I want. I just wish,,,

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Vienna – Salzburg – Mayerling: A Winter Wonderland Journey

Day 1 – 9 February 2018: Vienna City Center & Stadtpark at night:

After my trip to Athens last summer, I started planning for my next one. I was excited to know where my second destination would be. And in about couple of months only, we decided, my best friends and I, to travel to Austria in February for the reason that one of us can only take vacation at this time of year. I took the initiative to plan our trip. And after several drafts and decisions, we finally made our booking and itinerary.

The day we were waiting for arrived. It was around 1.30 AM in the morning of 9 February that we met at Beirut Intl airport ready to begin our journey. It was easier and more familiar this time with the procedure to be done before we went to the gate and got seated. The take off went smoothly, the lights went down until it was done. I was a little bit nervous as usual so I was distracting myself by reading for a while and trying to see from my window for another. The scenery of the lighted islands can’t stop of amazing me with beautiful view although it was still dark.

The flight was comfortable. We were flying indirect, so we had our first stop at Sabiha Airport in Turkey at around 8.00 AM.the view of landing in Turkey was amazing, the first lights of the morning above Istanbul landscape and hills. After our transit check point, we headed to the duty free where we had ahead 4 hours of waiting for our connection flight to Vienna.

We had breakfast and coffee, and we strolled around the duty free. My friends had some sleep, but I couldn’t. the waiting was long and a bit exhausting since I only slept couple of hours the night of our flight. Then when it was time to go to the gate, we got seated for our final destination.

When we started to cross over the countries, the view was amazing from the sky, I started seeing snowy mountains and foggy lands under. It was for me breathtaking scenery. After around 4 hours, we landed over Vienna. Our taxi was waiting for us to take us to our hotel. He gave us a brief history of what we were passing through, and he told us we should enjoy some sun in the couple of days to come although it was snowing the day before, we could see the snow in the streets corner we were driving.

At around 2.00 PM we arrived to our centrally located hotel where we checked in, got a little bit of rest and agreed to stroll around the city and of course have some lunch because we were starving after this long flight.

Our hotel is considered in the central city, we had a small fountain with statues in front of it which was later as a remarkable point to locate the hotel. Our plans for the day were a bit of lazy since we were taking into consideration that we will be tired.

Our target was to find somewhere to eat, and we were walking round and round in the streets not knowing at some points where were we, but it was kind of fun although it was very cold. But also we had that planned out, we were wearing enough warm clothes. After around 45 minutes or so, we decided to go to an Italian restaurant and have our first lunch at Vienna. It was delicious as expected, I ordered some lasagna and enjoyed a glass of local wine too.

After around one hour, we decided to go Stadtpark, which was in our plan for the day. It was with a bit of lost that we found ourselves at the park somehow. It was freezing cold since it was already at night. But it was for me fun time especially when we found the famous Strauss statue. We took some pictures and we rested at some of the bunches.

This lovely 65,000 square meters park is located on the edge of the old city of Vienna and is a good place for an afternoon break given its proximity to the tourist attractions. Other than the pleasant lawn, the park is known for the many sculptures within it, Franz Lehár, Franz Schubert, Robert Stolz and the famous of them all, the gilded  monument of Johann Strauss II, the composer of “The Blue Danube” Waltz. This bronze golden status is a perfect background for a great photo.

Then we decided to go back to the hotel to get some sleep. But it was with a bit of difficulty that we found the hotel after walking round in circles for an hour. We stopped at a minimarket just across the streets of our hotel and went back to rest.

My friends soon were asleep as soon as we returned to the hotel but I couldn’t. I stayed awake until almost midnight and then slept. We were having a long day the next day.

Day 2 – 10 FEB 2018: Salzburg:

On the second day, we had to woke up very early since we were going to a tour guided trip to Salzburg, which is around 4 hours driving from Vienna by car. We took our early breakfast around 6.15 AM and at around 6.45 AM the driver came to take us to the meeting point for our trip.

For me, Salzburg it is a dream come true. Since I was a little girl, my mom used to sit with us to watch The Sound Of Music whenever they were showing it on the TV. So I became in love with the movie and with the mountains and views in the movie. And actually, all my drawings when I was at school were inspired from the snowy mountain and greenery we see in this particular movie. So yes, I was extremely excited about it, although I did know in advance that it will not be so green out there but I didn’t care. I wanted to enjoy this remarkable day as much as I can.

On the road, we passed through Wachau Valley area, known for its wineries, but I was on the other side of the bus so could not take pictures of it. As soon as we were getting father from Vienna, the snowy and foggy scene was getting stronger. Everything around was in white, which made it even more a magical drive. As usual, I was holding the camera the whole time and couldn’t stop taking pictures from the closed window of the bus. We stopped for a little snack then continued our way until we reached Wolfgangsee Lake for 10 minutes pictures break. And then here it was, finally Salzburg !

Salzburg is the city of the Sound of Music, Mozart and Austrian royalty, the important sites are all within easy walking distance and the atmosphere buzzes with culture and excitement – yes, the “hills are alive with the sound of music.” Salzburg, Austria has the Alps on one side, green fields on the other and the Salzach River which runs through the city. The city’s name is derived from the barges which once carried salt down the river from the nearby salt mines.  Being only 150km from Munich the city was ruled by Bavaria until the 4th century when it became a prince-bishopric of the Holy Roman Empire. th Later in 1805 the city was annexed to the Austrian Empire only to revert back to Bavarian hands in 1809. In 1866 Salzburg became part of Austro-Hungary and the city entered the 20th century. Following WWII Salzburg was briefly occupied by the Americans and in 1955 the city began to flourish as part of the independent Republic of Austria.

The bus stopped at the croner of the Paris-London-Strasse where we should meet after we finish our tour. Our guided walking tour took us to our first stop: the Mirabell Garden. I remember this Garden very well from the song “Do-Re-Mi” of the Sound of Music movie.

The world-famous Mirabell Gardens were built along a north-south axis and oriented towards the Hohensalzburg Fortress and the Salzburger Dom cathedral. The original gardens were re-modelled according to plans by Johann Bernhard Fischer von Erlach under the reign of Prince Archbishop Johann Ernst Thun in 1689. Only some decades later, Franz Anton Danreiter altered them again in 1730, shaping what is now considered to be one of the most beautiful Baroque gardens of Europe. In the 19th century, the Mirabell Gardens were changed once again, several parts were destructed, such as the originalZwergerlgarten (dwarf garden), some arcades facing Mirabell square and the so-called Sala terena in the Northwest of the Mirabell Castle. The “Grand Parterre” is the oldest part of the Mirabell Gardens that is still preserved. The Grand Parterre is embraced by a marble railing decorated with vases by Fischer von Erlach. In the heart of the garden, you will see a large fountain, with four statue groups around it: the rape of Prosperina, rape of Helena, Aeneas and Anchises, and finally Hercules and Antaeus. These statues were made by Ottavio Mosto in 1690. Next to the main part of the Grand Parterre, set apart a little towards the Mirabellplatz Square, you will see a court with a Papagena fountain echoing the Papageno Fountain near the Pfeiffergasse. This court also hosts the “Orangerie”, which is still used as a greenhouse and can be visited without charge. To the opposite of the Orangerie there is a pavilion that is used by the “Salzburger Barockmuseum“, the Salzburg Museum of Baroque. The “Small Parterre” is the part of the Mirabell Gardens just along the backside of the Mirabell Castle. It is directly attached to the Grand Parterre and also bears a fountain in its core: a Pegasus statue that was transferred to this location in 1913, previously it had been part of a horse well in front of the Mirabell Castle. However, the Pegasus was made of copper by Kaspar Gras for the well on the Kapitelplatz near the Salzburger Dom cathedral in 1661. There it stayed until1690. After that time, it was used for the well on the Mirabellplatz Square until the great fire of 1818, and finally transferred to its current location in 1913. The Pegasus fountain is a good starting point to run down the hedge arcade along the Grand Parterre: this is what Fräulein Maria and the Trapp childrendid in the movie “The Sound of Music” and remarkably popular with many visitors of the site.

We continued our walk towards the Old Town, crossing the Salzach River. There were lock chains on the bridge that believed to be the symbol of locking the love of couples that were there. First we encountered the quaint Getreidegasse, a cobbled street with old-fashioned shingles outside enticing stores (and tourist-traps). On this street we visited the house where Mozart was born (1756), Mozart’s Geburtshaus.

We continued on to the wide open plazas of the Old Town. On Alter Markt Square we found more picture-perfect stores and in Mozart Square we saw the memorial to the great composer. We entered the huge Dom zu Salzburg on Residenzplatz, the cathedral’s architecture was eclectic with grand Romanesque and baroque features, then we passed across St. Peter’s church and continued our walk to the catacombs where our tour ended.

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Some of the group went to see the catacombs, but my friends and I decided to go for our free time to see Hohensalzburg Fortress, a mountain-top castle. The fortress is very well maintained and preserved and contains a museum of medieval weapons, torture instruments and a restaurant overlooking the gorgeous Austrian countryside. The view from the top was a breathtaking landscape that shows snowy panorama of Salzburg. It was like a winter fairytale scene. We spent almost 45 minutes there then we decided to go back to the meeting point of our group to return to Vienna at around 4.00 PM in the afternoon.

On our return way, we were tired but still I was enjoying for some time the road until it went all dark on the highway. Our bus stopped across Vienna Opera State where we walked a little bit, ate dinner at Mc Donalds which was the nearest place to the hotel because we were starving and tired of finding another place, then went back to our hotel. It was a beautiful memorable day with the Sound Of Music Spirit carved in my heart forever. And definitely I could come back again to visit its charms in another season in the future. That night we did not go out at night, we decided to stay at the hotel and sleep early for our next day plan.

Day 3- 11 FEB 2018: Mayerling Woods & Hofburg Palace:

Our third day started with the breakfast at the hotel, until it was time to meet our driver around 9.30 AM for our second guided half day tour to Mayerling Woods.

Mayerling is a small village (pop. 200) in Lower Austria belonging to the municipality of Alland in the district of Baden. It is situated on the Schwechat river, in the Wienerwald (Vienna woods), 15 miles (24 km) southwest of Vienna. From 1550, it was in the possession of the abbey of Heiligenkreuz. In 1886, Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria, only son of Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria and Empress Elisabeth, and heir to the Austro-Hungarian crown, acquired the manor and transformed it into a hunting lodge. It was in this hunting lodge that, on 30 January 1889, he was found dead with his mistress, Baroness Mary Vetsera, apparently as a result of suicide. Exactly what happened is unknown, but on 31 July 2015, the Austrian National Library issued copies of Vetsera’s letters of farewell to her mother and other family members. The letters—written in Mayerling shortly before the deaths—state clearly and unambiguously that Vetsera was preparing to commit suicide alongside Rudolf, out of “love”. After the deaths of Rudolf and Vetsera, Emperor Franz Joseph, who wanted to found a new church, had the building changed into a convent which was settled by nuns of the Discalced Carmelite Order. Visitors may view the statue of the Madonna in the Lady Chapel of the church. It has the face of the Empress Elisabeth, and has a dagger in the Immaculate Heart. The position of the main cross in the chapel is supposed to be where the bed of Rudolf and Vetsera was situated. Today, the building is a museum and tourist attraction in Austria. Prayers are still said daily by the nuns for the repose of the soul of Crown Prince Rudolf.

Passing the ancient Roman city of Baden bei Wien, we drove through the romantic Helenental Valley, which was the inspiration for the most important musicians of Austria. And no wonder that it was, beautiful landscape with green, rivers, mountains and snow. We reached then the former Mayerling Hunting Lodge for a visit of around 20 minutes. This is the infamous location of the Mayerling Incident. In 1889, Prince Rudolf, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, committed a murder-suicide of his lover, Baroness Mary Vetsera.

Then we continued our visit to reach Heiligenkreuz Abbey for another around half an hour tour. It is the oldest continuously-occupied Cistercian monastery in the world, this abbey was opened in 1133. Different sections of the abbey incorporate various architectural styles, since the building had to be rebuilt and renovated after Ottoman hordes set fire to it.

Then we headed to the Seegrotte in Hinterbruhl for a boat ride of the underground lake. This system of caves is remarkable for containing an underground lake, on which you can take a boat tour. It was discovered under an old gypsum mine. During World War II, the Nazis used it to produce fighter jets. I wanted to take this tour but since I am a claustrophobic person I could not pass even the first steps of the Grotto. So I decided to wait for my friends and the group outside, exploring a little bit the area and resting on a bench on the streets listening to music and enjoying the calm and cold. It was after around 45 minutes that they finished this tour and we went back to Vienna State Opera and to our hotel for some rest.

Then it was time to go to our next stop Hofburg Palace. We took guided audio tour to visit. The Hofburg Palace in Vienna provides an authentic view into the daily life of what was once the center of the powerful Hasburg dynasty, a family that once ruled the Austria-Hungry empire. The house of Hasburg was one of the most important dynasties in Europe at the time as it produced some of the kings that ruled Western Europe for several decades starting from the 15th century. It also owned the Roman Empire throne during this time which was a significant source of power. Today, the Hofburg palace hosts some very interesting museums that offer a unique opportunity to learn about the traditions and history of the imperial court. To begin with, we started with the Imperial Apartments that hold some impressive royal furnishings and decoration. Then, there is the Imperial Silver Collection, a museum dedicated to the facilities and tableware that were once used by the royal members of this great dynasty. We continued and visited the Sisi Museum which is dedicated to the life of the empress, where we learned about the life of the Empress. The Hofburg Palace is one of the most educational yet charming and interesting places in which one can observe the life during the era of the great kings that once ruled Europe. These days, the palace serves as the official home of Austria’s president.

After this visit we made our way back to the street that we were familiar with by that time that is near our hotel. We went for some lunch. We wanted some traditional restaurant but instead we found an Italian one that was recommended by my friend’s colleague at work. And it was totally worth it.

We stopped for buying some souvenirs and went back to the hotel. We decided that night to go out since it was the night before my birthday. We passed near St. Stephan Cathedral but we could not visit it, we just went inside for a while. Then we spent the night in a Turkish or Moroccan café where we enjoyed some tea and shisha. It was a beautiful ending for our third day.

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Day 4 – 12 FEB 2018: Schonbrunn Palace, City Walk & Café Central:

We started our day as usual with our breakfast at the hotel. Then we were planning to go to Schonbrunn Palace for this day. we went our way to St. Stephan metro station and bought our roundtrip ticket to go there. we walked through a long distance of gardens until we reached the gate where we bought our tickets with audio guided tour for the palace.

The Schönbrunn Palace, one of the most popular tourist attractions in Vienna, is a Rococo style summer palace of the great Hofburg monarchy, a ruler of Europe and the Church for many decades. The 1441 room palace was originally built by Emperor Leopold I in 1696 but modified considerably by the empress Maria Theresa 40 years later as the original constructions came to a stop due to their cost. The palace with its lovely gardens demonstrates the vision and aspirations of the Habsburg family and stand in contrast to the somewhat grim Hofburg Palace. An unforgettable event in the history of music took place here as one young Mozart, a six year old phenomenon played here before Maria Theresa in the Hall of Mirrors and where he also met the seven years old Marie Antoinette. The last of the Habsburg house, Franz Joseph, was actually born in the Schönbrunn Palace and spent a considerable amount of time out of his final years of his life here. Going into the palace, seems that the interior does not fall behind the gardens. There are 40 rooms out of the 1441 which are open to the public.

Then we went back to St Stephan place and we wanted to visit the Butterfly House. But since we were Monday, the museum was closed. We passed near Albertina Museum but since we decided not to go to museums we went back to our hotel because it started to rain for a while.

At around 4.30 PM, we wanted to go for a walk to Stadtpark but since it was getting a little darker and we were a bit of lost, we decided to take our lunch at another Italian restaurant because we could not find any traditional restaurant on our way. And we walked for a while in the streets, bought some souvenirs and then went back to the hotel.

At night, we went for a coffee and cake break to celebrate my birthday at Café Central. It was a gift from my friend’s work suppliers with whom we booked our trip. It was delicious and the place was fancy. It felt like sitting in one of the palace’s room. At around 10.30 PM we went back to the hotel concluding our last night at Vienna.

Day 5 – 13 FEB 2018: Farewell Vienna:

On our last day at Vienna, we decided to go up very early and take our breakfast then to pay a walking visit to Stadtpark and St. Stephan Cathedral. And I can say it was the best moment of the trip.

We went to the park where we took pictures in the daylight. It was beautiful peaceful morning walk. Then we headed to St. Stephan cathedral with a little help of one nice local old men who took us in a shortcut to reach the cathedral faster. We went up to the rooftop of the cathedral where we spent around half an hour enjoying the view and snapping pictures. Then we went walking inside of it for a while.

St. Stephen’s Cathedral, an impressive Catholic church located in Stephansplatz, right at the center of Vienna. As the most important and most recognizable church in Austria’s capital, along with the recognizable colorful roof, it is seen and easily recognized practically from almost anywhere within the city. When the church was constructed more than 800 years ago, it was actually built outside the city and was supposed to have two towers. The distinctive and unbalanced look of this Church was given due to the fact that the funds simply ran out during the constrictions which left it with only one impressive tower. Like many of other Vienna buildings, this cathedral was also severely damaged during World War II and reconstructed later on. A climb of the 343 steps is well worth the effort – the view of Vienna from this 450 feet high tower is simply breathtaking. The interior is highly decorated which even makes it difficult to get all the richness of the details. One piece of work though is not to be missed – the stone stage on which you can find decorative carvings created by Anton Pilgram who worked on this piece for several years during mid-16th century.

At around 11.00, our taxi driver came to our hotel to take us to the airport for the way back home. It started to snow that day. it was the first time in my life seeing the snow falling down. It was the perfect ending for our unforgettable trip. I was excited to go back home but yet sad for leaving behind amazing city.

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Till our next trip !

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Athens – Aegina Island: A Magical Journey

Day 1 – 17 AUG 2017: Welcoming View, Museums, Vouliagmeni Lake & Tourist Squares:

My first flight, my first adventure, my first experience like nothing else before.

Everything was new for me. I was so excited yet a little bit stressed for my first trip ever and my first time flying.

It all started on Wednesday night, actually it was Thursday around midnight of 17 AUG 2017, that we gathered my cousins and I at the airport. I was a little bit tired because I was working all day, it was a long tiring day, even at night at home, so I did not sleep not even a little bit.

After a smooth check-in (because we already did it on line), we headed to the General Security for passing. There was a long line even though the time was late, around 2.00 AM. After almost 45 minutes, we headed to the passport check point. The staff were serious but a smile and a nice word always bring positive vibes. After all the procedure was done in around one hour and half, we headed to the duty free. The duty free was not so big as space, we were hanging around and talking while waiting for our whole group of cousins and friends to meet there. We were 7 persons excited to begin this adventure.

One of my cousins already took the charge for planning our itinerary at destination. My heart was beating so fast with several confusing emotions: happiness, excitement & anxious at the same time. I was a little bit scared of the plane, that was what I thought I would be. So as a precaution, I reserved a window seat for my phobia.

At around 3.30 AM they opened the gate of the plane for us to be seated. And thank God, we were so close to the exit door so we had very goods seating, wide seating, to be comfortable, again as a first time traveler these details were important for me. I was holding a book with me to keep me busy during the flight. We took some pictures as a mark for starting this journey.

Then the moment I was waiting for was about to start. The plane started moving and my heart was jumping. It was moving slowly around the ground field then it stopped. The engine started to make this noise preparing to depart and the plane moved quickly and then that was it, just in a heartbeat it took off.

We passed over Beirut and the suburbs, then over the North hills, and in about few moments we were above the sea. The lights were dim but I started reading to keep my mind busy. And as soon as were safe in the dark sky, the lights went back on and the seatbelt lights went off. I looked from my window, we were flying ! I looked around people, all were sleeping or trying to, but I couldn’t.

I was looking from the window from time to time, and although it was dark, when we were passing over the islands I was seeing the lights on creating a magical scenery, something I only saw in pictures but never live. I wanted to capture the moment but we were on a high level above them that I could not take clear pictures from a narrow closed window.

After almost 2 hours, we reached our destination. We were getting closer and closer to the ground. It was a marvelous view yet I was praying since all people who got to travel always tell that the most difficult part in flying is the take off and the landing. But I have to say that the captain was so good that we landed smoothly and without any turbulence or difficulty. And I always thought that only in Lebanon when the plane lands people start clapping their hands, but when the plane stopped people were clapping happy, well I guess most probably they were Lebanese.

Finally, Athens Airport! A quick procedure was done after we went out to call for a taxi. It was about 45 minutes away driving to our hotel. On the road I was looking through the window thinking that I was actually here, finally I did it, finally I traveled. At that moment, it did not matter where I was, it was rather about the fact. The driver was friendly enough to talk about some of his country heritage and where to go visit until we arrived. It was still early, around 8.00 AM so we could not check-in yet. But they were friendly enough to give us one room from 3 since it was already empty.

The receptionist informed us about the breakfast room, pool, gym, dinner room and all we needed to know about, then he guided us about best road to take, metro stations from the hotel and of course a map for easier way to find anything we need. Then we headed up to the room where we put our luggage, them headed back down to go and begin our journey and also eat.

We were walking around the area, small streets and corners, here are some fancy stores, here some fancy shops, and there was also a minimarket close which is was good for buying water and some snacks. All were closed except for the minimarket since it was still early. We continued our walk until we reached the highway where across the street was the metro station of Syntagma square, from where it was our departure point later and for the few days to come.

We then found ourselves in front of the National Garden where we enjoyed the peace and quiet and the greenery. Obviously, it was a place where people can take their morning walk, or afternoon break or a family break or even just sitting back at one of the benches for some read or self-moment time. It was big and beautiful. And reminded me somehow of Alice in Wonderland when she met the Cat in the woods. I took of course pictures while walking and enjoying the calm inside nature. Then we stopped by a pastry where we had a delicious breakfast and dessert then headed back to the hotel for some rest before beginning the plan of the day.

The hotel was not considered as a centrally located although it was about just 10 minutes walking from the metro station and around 20 minutes walking from the city center. And the fact that it was situated at the beginning of a hill, it made later the way back a little bit tiring after spending long day of walking and sightseeing. But the view was breathtaking, overlooking the whole city and the Parthenon, which made it an enjoyable stay.

Some of us headed for a small nap, some of us, including me, headed to the roof top where the pool is. It was too early to go swim, it was not opened yet, but we could lay down on the long chairs for a nap. But I could not sleep, I was enjoying the view and of course snapping some pictures. At around 11.00 AM, we were all checked-in and we decided to begin our first day.

Our plan for the day included first museums. It was not with difficulties that we located first the National History Museum, thanks to our wonderful cousin who did well her job in planning. The museum covers artifacts from 1453 (the fall of Constantinople to the Ottomans) to 1940 including pieces from the Greek War of Independence in 1821. Among the highlights is the bed and sword of Lord Byron who fought and died in the war. Major historical figures are highlighted like the first Greek King, King Otto and King George as well as major historical events like the Balkan Wars, Greek Revolution and the Greek Italian War (1940). Among the artifacts on display are traditional costumes, memorabilia, flags, furniture, medals and personal items which belonged to historical figures.

Then we headed to the Archaeological Museum. The National Archaeological Museum of Athens is the largest archaeological museum in Greece and one of the most important museums in the world devoted to ancient Greek art. It was founded at the end of the 19th century to house and protect antiquities from all over Greece, thus displaying their historical, cultural and artistic value.

After visiting these 2 important museums, we went to Syntagma Square for taking the metro to Monastiraki area. It was my first time taking the metro. I was a little bit nervous since am a claustrophobic person. But actually I enjoyed the riding. It was less than a minute underground that we reached our stop. I was excited.

Although we had a schedule for this region, but since we were a little bit behind, we decided to take the tram to reach Vouliagmeni Lake. The tram was another first time to ride for me. Since it was a peak time, it was full of people. So we had to stand for about half an hour we were seated. The lake was about 45 minutes away from where we were.

When we reached it, we spent about an hour or so there. The lake is located in the heart of the Athenian Riviera, a hidden treasure of Attica’s nature. Situated on an idyllic landscape, this rare geological phenomenon is waiting to be discovered. The lake’s brackish waters which are continuously replenished both by the sea and the underground thermal springs offer a natural and unique thermal spa experience. Swimming at the Lake is a holistic experience all-year round. The water’s healing properties and the stable temperature, combined with the benefits swimming offers to the body and soul, promise a unique leisure activity. The Lake’s water gushes from springs 50 to 100 meters deep and have a temperature ranging between 22 to 29 degrees Celsius throughout the year. Even more the small fish called Garra Rufa, also known as Doctor Fish or Spa Fish, indigenous and natural inhabitants of the Lake, promises visitors a unique peeling experience. I really enjoyed swimming in the lake in a way that all my exhaustion of lack of sleep, walking, standing and the fact that we were lost at some point, all this faded away.

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It was around 6.30 PM that we decided to get going to the Temple of Poseidon. But unfortunately, some of the receptionists working at the lake told us that we could not make it, since it is around one hour from the lake and we can’t catch the last bus going back from the Temple to Monastiraki. So we had to skip it although we were excited to see the sunset from there, which was told to be an exceptional scenery.

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So we headed back to Monastiraki, by bus this time, a little bit disappointed, however the sea view was a consolation. We wanted to go to Gazi area for our dinner break, but some Egyptian resident heard us talking and advised to go to Monastiraki as it is more convenient as a tourist place and more enjoyable. So we took his advise and once arrived, we found a long line of seated restaurants on the streets, so we picked a traditional one and sat outdoor. The area was crowded at this time of day and you can find tourists, families and friends gathered all around the square enjoying the end of the day. The dinner/lunch was delicious, I had some local wine too which was great.

Then we walked around a little bit, there was souvenirs shops where some of us stopped by for buying. After that we went back to the hotel, we took a little rest then went down again for walking around in the area. At Syntagma square, people were gathered around for walking or watching performances by people on the streets. We also got to see the city at night, and when it was around 11.30 PM we went back walking to the hotel. I could not be at that moment more than happy to see the bed. I slept like a baby I could tell.

Day 2 – 18 AUG 2017: Archaeological Day:

Our second day began with a breakfast at the hotel with a marvelous view. It was a wide range of international breakfast so delicious that each one of us filled twice or more their plates. And also, because we had a long day ahead and our next lunch break should be late to catch as much sites as possible while they are open. At around 9.00-9.30 AM we headed to Syntagma square for the metro ride to Monastiraki to begin our archaeological visit.

We stood in the line to buy our combo ticket to visit several sites and headed up first to our first attraction. On the southern slope of the Acropolis the pedestrian street of Dionysiou Areopagitou is the site of two ancient performance venues – the Dionysos Theatre and the Odeion Theatre of Herodes Atticus. The Odeion Theatre of Herodes Atticus is named after the man who financed its construction around 160-174AD. The Piraeus limestone structure was covered with marble and had a cedar wood roof. The 81-meter-wide semi-circle of audience seats (cavea) appears to have been cut out of the surrounding natural rock and could at one-time seat 5,500. The audience looks onto the orchestra (the floor in front of the stage where the chorus would stand) and onto the stage. Behind the stage is a three-store high skene, a 28-meter-high building with arched niches where statues once stood. The highest point of the surviving structure reaches the 2nd floor. The 4 century BC was constructed on the site of an earlier theatre where the original Theatre of Dionysos performances of famous classical Greek dramas were performed. Thus, it is considered the birthplace of European theatre. Plays by Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides had their premiers here.  Festivals honoring the god Dionysus would have been held here. The theatre is not as well preserved as the Odeion but has greater cultural significance. At one time the theatre could seat 17,000 spectators in an auditorium of 64 rows of stone seats, of which 20 rows have survived. Unfortunately, it has been covered over with earth through the years. The theatre would have had a wooden roof which was probably destroyed by fire. Alterations to the theatre were made through the different eras including the addition of 67 thrones around the perimeter of the orchestra for dignitaries in the Hellenistic period. During the Roman period a new stage was built, and the orchestra was paved.

We continued up to reach the Acropolis. Athens’ top must-see attraction and a UNESCO site is the Acropolis, High City or Sacred Rock, a hill overlooking the city and home to the most recognizable symbol of the city, the Parthenon. The Acropolis has been inhabited since the Neolithic period and has been used as both a religious cult site and a residential area. Most Greek cities were built around a central hill or mound as it made a good-look out point and place to retreat in the event of an attack. From the Acropolis you can look out to sea and down onto the city, the remains of the ancient Agora and the Plaka which hugs the foot of the hill. The Parthenon was the central and largest of the Acropolis temples and was dedicated to Athena, it had rich decoration, statues, friezes and art work by the greatest artists of the time. In ancient times the Acropolis was the venue for the annual Athenian Festival of Panathenaia. When Athens was invaded by the Persians in 480BC the Acropolis and its monuments were destroyed. Under Pericles the Acropolis structures were rebuilt starting in 448BC. The 5 century structures we see today were made from Pentelic marble. The Acropolis and its ancient structures (particularly the Parthenon) represent the pinnacle of Greek civilization, philosophy and art. Among the complex of archaeological discoveries on the Acropolis four main structures stand out: the Parthenon; the Propylaea; the Erechtheum and the Temple of Athena Nike. We entered the site through the Beule Gate and then pass through the Propylaia. Propylaea (monumental gateways) stand at the entrance to the site. The Temple of Apteros Nike stood on the ramparts protecting the entrance to the inner sanctuary. The Temple of Athena Nike or Athena of Victory is an Ionic temple dating back to 424BC and is the oldest temple on the Acropolis. It is best known for the frieze on the Nike Parapet. The temple has a four-columned colonnaded portico at the back and front with closed walls on the sides. The Erechtheion is the tomb of Erechtheus, one of the early kings of Athens. The Erechtheion has beautiful carvings and Caryatids holding up the porch ceiling. Caryatids are sculptured figures of women used instead of columns. Note where Poseidon struck the ceiling and floor and made a spring flow out in his contest with Athena to decide who the city would be named after. Next to the tomb stands an olive tree which Athena planted in response. The Parthenon is the main ancient structure on the Acropolis, a hill in the center of Athens. It is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the symbol of Athens and the most famous of the surviving structures from the world of ancient Greece. The building was originally built in honor of the goddess Athena, the city’s patron. The Temple of Athena the Virgin (is the Greek word for virgin) was built following the Persian Wars in Parthenon thanks of the city’s victory. It was built on the site of an earlier temple which the Persians had destroyed. As rulers and occupiers changed the temple was used for different purposes including as a church, a mosque and a fortress.

We headed down then to reach Ancient Agora and the Roman Agora. The Agora or “gathering place” was the heart of ancient Athens. The paths led us through the ancient ruins. The best preserved of the ancient structures are the Hephaisteion Temple and the Stoa of Attalos, an ancient shopping center. The Agora was the social and political center of the city. Among the buildings which stood here there were the law courts, public toilets which could seat 68 people at a time, stores and Temples. The Tower of Winds (Horologion) is a well preserved 1st century BC time piece comprised of a water-powered clock, sundials, compass and topped with a weather vane. It is an octagonal tower constructed in 48BC; it reaches 12 meters high and has a thick base with three steps. The tower bears relief sculptures depicting the eight gods of the winds.

We continued our way till we reached Kanellopoulos Museum, including objects dating from Pre-historic to modern times, highlighting the diachronic nature and continuity of Greek art. Then headed back to the starting point where we took a rest at one of the street’s coffee-bar for a one-liter glass of local beer break facing a remarkable chocolate market “Hensel & Gretel”. Then we walked through the Pandrossou Market Street for souvenirs buying time. And we went back to our hotel to drop off the things we bought.

Some of us were already tired of walking, so they decided to stay at the hotel for a while lunch time arrives. So, I went down again with the rest to continue our visit. First, we went to the National Garden as a second time visit for some more pictures, then went straight to the Temple Of Olympian Zeus.

The temple of Zeus Olympios was the largest in ancient Greece. It was only in the 2nd century AD under Hadrian that the structure was completed and dedicated to Zeus Olympios. The temple is thought to have been damaged in an earthquake during the medieval period and later disassembled for building materials. The original dimensions were 96 meters by 40 meters. Fifteen of the original 104 columns remain standing. The columns are 17.25 meters and with a diameter of 2 meters. One more column lies on the ground. Originally the columns would have surrounded an inner chamber where massive statues would have stood. The marble used to build the temple was brought from Mount Pentelus.

Then we reached Hadrian’s Arch. This triumphal arch was erected in the 2nd century AD in honor of the Roman emperor Hadrian. The arch was constructed spanning an ancient road which led from the ancient city center where the Agra and Acropolis stand to the Olympieion and southeast Athens. The western side of the arch bears the inscription: “This is Athens, the ancient/old city of Theseus”. On the eastern side an inscription states: “This is the city of Hadrian and not of Theseus”. The inscriptions could signify that the arch was built on the line which divided old Athens to the west from Hadrian’s new Athens (Hadrianoupolis) to the southeast. The inscriptions could also be interpreted as proclaiming Hadrian as the new hero of all of Athens, replacing Theseus. The Pentelic marble arch stands 18 meters high, is 12.5 meters wide and 2.3 meters deep. On top of the arch opening are pilasters of Corinthian rhythm. The arch or gate way was not originally part of a wall but during the Turkish occupation in the 18th century it was incorporated as one of the seven gates in the defensive walls against Albanian invaders.

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Then we continued our walk till we reached the Panathenaic Stadium. This stadium was originally built in 330-321BC to host the Panathenaic Games. The festival was held every four years and was part of a huge festival in honor of the Goddess Athena. The spectators sat on the slopes surrounding the stadium while dignitaries had wooden seats. Under Roman rule Herodes Atticus had the stadium renovated in 140AD. The seats were covered with marble giving the stadium a new name “kallimarmaro” or beautifully marbled. The stadium was also enlarged during the Roman renovations and could seat about 50,000 spectators. The stadium dimensions were expanded to 204 meters by 83 meters. It was only in the 19th century when the stadium was restored and renovated to prepare it to host the first modern Olympic Games in 1896. The seats were covered with new marble, this time white marble from Mount Penteli. It is the only stadium in the world built entirely with marble. The renovations were funded by George Averoff whose statue now stands at the entrance to the stadium. In 1906 the Intercalated Games were held in the stadium and in 1968 the FIBA European Cup Winner’s Cup Final was held here in front of an audience of 60,000. The stadium underwent another facelift in 2004 to host the Olympic Games archery tournament and to be the finishing point of the Marathon. Today the stadium is a multi-purpose sports venue; it retains the ancient hair-pin shape design of ancient stadiums rather than the more circular shape of modern stadiums. At its peak the stadium could seat 80,000 in the audience but today it can accommodate 45,000 spectators. The stadium is used for music concerts, sporting events and to welcome home victorious Greek sports teams. The stadium appears on the Greek €100 collectors’ coin and was featured on the Olympic Games medal for the Beijing and London Olympics.

Due to exhaustion we were feeling, we decided not to enter the stadium, just snap some photos from outside and took a seat on stairs close to it for while then continued to Mets area for our lunch break. We found a traditional rooftop restaurant behind the stadium where the rest of the group met us there. we enjoyed our meal with some local wine and ouzo. After almost 2 hours of the time, we decided to continue our evening at some local pub. We found one similar to the ones we have back at home, not too much loudly. We spent another couple of hours there, where I had great glass of sangria. And because we were so tired, we ordered a taxi back way to the hotel close to midnight and slept while waiting excitedly for the next day to arrive and enjoy the sun and sea side of Greece.

Day 3 – 19 AUG 2017: Aegina Island & Plaka Night Life:

The strangest thing I discovered about myself, is that in trips, I love waking up early to benefit from every single minute of my day, because nothing matters at that time except the moment. After having our mega breakfast at the hotel buffet, we agreed to meet up at the lobby at exactly 9.30 AM. But as predicted, we were late by 15 minutes. And that was ok, well sort of. Because we had to take the metro for a drive of 40 minutes till we reach the port of Piraeus. Once there, we started jogging to the nearest agency and buy boat to go to Aegina Island. We had only 2 minutes left before the boat took off, so we started running down the streets and luckily, we made it at the very last minute. When remembering this accident, I laugh, but at the time, we were all stressed out afraid not to catch the boat.

But we made it! The boat started moving at 10.30 AM. We had about one hour of sailing until we reach the island. I was of course excited and enjoying the trip, the breeze of the sea, the sun, the wind, the birds, everything. I can say that this journey was all about new experiences and adventures, I got to try almost all kind of transport means: the plane, the metro, the tram and the boat.

At around 11.30, we arrived at Aegina. My cousin has the entire day planned, but since there was some stress among the group, we decided to only visit one place and then go straight to the shores to enjoy swimming and relaxing.

We took taxis that drove us to the Temple of Aphaia. It is located within a sanctuary complex dedicated to the goddess Aphaia on the Greek island of Aegina, which lies in the Saronic Gulf. Formerly known as the Temple of Jupiter Panhellenius, the great Doric temple is now recognized as dedicated to the mother-goddess Aphaia. It was a favorite of the neoclassical and romantic artists such as J. M. W. Turner. It stands on a c. 160 m peak on the eastern side of the island approximately 13 km east by road from the main port. Aphaia was a Greek goddess who was worshipped exclusively at this sanctuary. The extant temple of c. 500 BC was built over the remains of an earlier temple of c. 570 BC, which was destroyed by fire c. 510 BC. The elements of this destroyed temple were buried in the infill for the larger, flat terrace of the later temple, and are thus well preserved. Abundant traces of paint remain on many of these buried fragments. There may have been another temple in the 7th century BC, also located on the same site, but it is thought to have been much smaller and simpler in terms of both plan and execution. Significant quantities of Late Bronze Age figurines have been discovered at the site, including proportionally large numbers of female figurines (kourotrophoi), indicating – perhaps – that cult activity at the site was continuous from the 14th century BC, suggesting a Minoan connection for the cult. The last temple is of an unusual plan and is also significant for its pedimented sculptures, which are thought to illustrate the change from Archaic to Early Classical technique. These sculptures are on display in the Glyptothek of Munich, with a number of fragments located in the museums at Aegina and on the site itself.

Then came the time to go for a swim. We had to go down from the top of the hill where we were till the bottom where the sea. And instead of taking taxi, or the main road, we decided to hike it down. It was with some difficulty that we reached the bottom. And honestly I was a little worried, because at some points I could not any trail for the road, and I was not wearing the convenient shoes at all. But eventually after almost hand an hour, we started seeing some houses and the sea. We finally reached Agia Marina.

We picked a fish restaurant that seemed so nice. And as soon as we settled down, we went straight to the amazing clear water for a swim. I can say that all the tiredness and stress were forgotten in a simple jump in the water. We enjoyed the lunch and the view was heaven.

At around 4.00 PM, we ordered a taxi to take us back to the port, where we had some time to explore and eat some yogurt ice cream. Then at around 5.30 PM we hopped on the boat for sailing back to Piraeus and from there to our hotel, where a couple of us took exceptional sunset pictures from our hotel.

At night, we agreed to go spent a nice evening with late dinner at one of the restaurants at Plaka. It was a very busy area with people all around enjoying the nice weather outdoors. The lights and music were given an enchanted ambiance. We sat at a traditional restaurant on the roof, it was not crowded, but there was traditional music playing around us, so we had a charming dinner enjoying the view of the Acropolis lighted above us. It was an amazing evening, at least I did enjoy it, a great ending to our trip that was about to finish the next day.

Day 4 – 20 AUG 2017: Antio Sas Athina:

On the last day of our stay at Athens, some of us preferred to stay at the hotel to relax or enjoy the beautiful view from the pool area. Me, instead, I preferred to go with a couple of us to see the changing of guards event and visirt a couple of more sites we could not catch before.

The Changing of the Guard is performed by Evzones (presidential guards) in traditional Greek costume as they watch over the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The Changing of the Guard takes place on the hour every hour but the best time to see it is at 11:00 on a Sunday when the guards where more elaborate costumes and there is more pomp and ceremony. It happens at the Parliament building area just across the Syntagma Square.

Then we took the metro to Monsatiraki, when we visited the Hadrian’s Library, which only ruins were left of it. Then we headed to Kerameikos: the oldest and largest Attic cemetery extended outside the walls on the Noth-west outskirts of ancient Athens. The site is dominated by stately tombs with sculptural masterpieces. The Demosion Sema (public cemetery) is a site for the burial of prominent war casualties, was in the same area. From Kerameikos you can see also the external view of Agia Triada church.

When we finished, we walked around Gazi area then headed back to the metro station going back to Syntagma square. We met there with the rest of us to go to the airport for returning to our home. A kind Lebanese citizen advised us to take the bus which will let us straight to the airport with less cost. He showed us the road. It was nice and kind of him. When we reached the airport, we checked-in and waited for the gate to open to get seated for our return flight.

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And this is how this lovely journey ended. We arrived home at around 6.30 PM leaving behind an amazing adventure. I always heard people who travels saying that once you start you can’t stop. And this is totally true. It is strange how you start planning a new adventure as soon as you end up the old one. And this is what I did. Until the next new journey!

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Torn

I wasn’t going to send this, or tell u abt it ever, but my dream of you holding me last night while we were walking with friends was like a sign for me. Maybe it’s nothing and maybe it’s just because something that I want that i dreamed of it. But I guess it’s fair enough to share this with u as u’re still my best friend after all.

Time was started to get closer for the first date with him. I was happy and excited, that’s for sure, but deep down inside of my subconsciousness, I knew that still something is feeling missing or not right.

The day was more than expected. I had some doubts that he might not get along with me, who I am, what I love, what I do, what I drink,,, but turns out to be like we are on the same page. The interests we have, the way of living, the way of thinking,,, all seemed compatible. And yet, that something that is missing still rank on top of my thoughts.

He’s everything a woman can ask for, a gentleman, with steady lifestyle, luxury living, life-loving, sensitive, and surprisingly he seems to enjoy spending some time with me and excited to see me every day. Yet, still feeling not right for me.

All my friends that know about this are encouraging me to keep going and dreaming about that life i could have if all goes the way it should. And honestly, i thought about that too, how my life would be abroad, what I will do and how I will live, the trips I would go to, all these places around the world that I dream of seeing, all that can come true and seem very close to reality now.

But then you came along ! I fought so hard to get rid of my feelings. No one knows how much I did efforts to let go and to forget my feelings. But how am I supposed to do that knowing that i can’t afford the idea of you not being around. No matter how much i hide it, it can still shows and i know you know. All that dreams and experiences, i wanted them to be with you. It all seems with no purpose, no fun, no meaning if I’m not experiencing all of this with you. Even when we are just sitting next to each other without talking is more than perfect for me.

My biggest fears seem to disappear when you’re around. I don’t know why you’re still here, and I don’t know what it is what i feel or what you feel, but i know that i can easily imagine my life around you, with all the ups and specially all the downs, i was and I still am here as long as you want me and let me to. I could do that and be rihht beside you with my eyes closed, it’s like an intuition for me with not even a little bit of effort. It’s like a spell !

I always have this particular dream where it shows that you’re not ready to let go yet, and this happened often in the time when we were distant, like a sign for me that there’s still hope of not losing you. I wrote to you everyday for some time, and still writing to you every once and a while, everything i want to say and everything i think of, all the places i wanted to go to with you, all the interests and things to do together, just to release them from my mind. I even wrote a story about you. Writing this is so easy yet so difficult to let it show. These words are the hardest i have ever said or will say.

Having you in my life ! could not have asked for more than your presence and your attention ! Maybe it’s just because you’re my best friend, and maybe it’s just because i’m attached to the idea of having you in my life. I know what u’ve been through, and i know that no matter how much ego and darkness u might show, u carry a big heart and a pure sensitivity to people around u. I’m so scared of losing u, am not ready for losing u !

But since I already know where you stand and where i stand, I should forget this and keep on moving forward and think with what my life will be, with something else, with someone else. I am at a point of my life and age where i should start thinking of the next chapter of my life. You already set up your mind long ago and i think it’s time I do the same. I could wait forever you know, with lots of patience and hope I have and feel, but I won’t have that chance ever with you, will I?

 

 

 

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The Voice Of The Unknown

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What if I had a voice that is heard? This question is on my mind for a while. With all what is happening worldwide, it’s like the wrong is becoming right and the right is becoming wrong. I read all those people who actually have a voice that is heard defending what they believe in to the “haters” as they call them. And it makes me wonder, what if those “haters” who actually had it their own way stop attacking people of different opinions or believes. What if those people who are being attacked ignore the negative comments and don’t write back because I believe that they won’t understand them, they don’t want to understand the other and accept it.

I live in a country that is set to be from the third world, well actually, the third world at least have electricity 24 hours which we don’t. I live in a country where all politics except for a very very few work for their own benefits and their own profit speaking money wise. I live in a country, where sadly and shameful as it is, the garbage every once in a while becomes the main subject and danger in all domains and yet the responsible that we put our confidence in to solve our biggest country problems and let us live in a good environment are fighting for who gets what from recycling companies, local and worldwide. I live in a country where the majority of people work in a field that is not theirs because of power and political means. I live in a country where lots of children work and sleep in the streets instead of going to school for a better future and better life. And so many other problems that keep our lives away from security, we go out in the morning to our work or school or university,,, and we don’t know if we will get back home ever, maybe we would be killed in an explosion from a terrorism attack or from a bullet because someone decided to celebrate in firing shotgun in the air.

And despite all of this, we love to live. We go out, spend money to have some fun or eat or drink or party. Even in the worst, in war periods, I remember that lost of people were living normally when they are away from their home. Despite all of this, I think that what the world is witnessing these days is a concern that will affect us in someway but from a little far. And it will turn the table for the greatness to be less than good. It’s sometimes ironic to feel that no where is perfect. But we have the power to change.

What they have and we don’t is that the power and the strong belief that the voice of anyone will be heard. They protest and scream for the rights they believe in, peacefully, and they will be heard. They defend human rights, nature rights, animal rights,,, and eventually they will be heard. For those who are taking the road as a protest, their walls as a screaming voice and their pen as their weapons, I stand up for them. Because I also want to live in a place where I would be treated equally as a Human Being part of a community without being discriminated only because I am a woman. I want to live in a place where I have the right to choose how I live and love and with whom I live and love. I want to live in a place where the opposite and the extremes can respect and understand the other without humiliating or attacking them. At the end we will all die and what we will take with us is our reputation and our work in life toward ourselves and the others. The influences and foot prints we leave behind us are all what matters.

After all these words, I keep coming back to the influences you left on me. And I guess I can say that it won’t matter anymore, well at least not like before. Today I felt inspired from knowing that I have influenced some people in my life, that no matter what they will keep remembering me in some way. And I know I have influenced you somehow, but your ego won’t let you admit it or show it. But it does not matter because there are lots of bigger problems and lots of better moments in my life with greater people.

To be better is a blessing “Having someone who understands is a great blessing for ourselves. Being someone who understands is a great blessing to others”. “Life varies its stories. Time changes everything, yet what is truly valuable, what is worth keeping, is beyond time”

“Good is underneath every single thing that appears to be negative. If we can know that good is all there is, including in a negative situation, then we will see a negative situation transform into all good. Most people keep the good away from themselves because they label something as bad, and them of course, that becomes their reality. But there is no bad in the universe; it is just our inability to see things clearly from the bigger perspective. Peace comes from knowing that good is all that exists,,,Each person has their own personal partnership with the law of attraction. You use the law for yourself; everyone else uses the law for themselves. You cannot use the law of attraction on someone else, against their free will,,,then anybody else could create something in your life that you did not want. You create through your thoughts and feelings, and no one but you can think your thoughts or feel your feelings.”

So what if my voice is heard? Maybe it is sometimes better not to be heard, but I will never stop feeling, I will never stop writing, even if it is only for myself !

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Sail Away

It has been 2 days since your birthday. You don’t even know how much I wanted so bad to see you, to just see your smile, and hear your voice. And somehow, in a stupid act by mistake from me, I heard your voice. It was not intentionally but it made me feel alive again. It made me feel good. After all the bad things, it still affects me. Every time I reach the phone to call you or talk to you, something holds me back, but I can’t help the feeling. You did come again to visit me in my dreams, so it must be something good, at least this is what I hope for.

And this makes me wonder, would I ever get over you, get over this feeling? Would I ever find anyone that will make me feel loved and not alone, that would let me experience all the things I never had? Sometimes I feel like I would never have. I keep thinking about a new life style, I keep thinking that I need to learn more about things in life. Sometimes even I feel the urge to spend time with my mom to learn what she knows, to spend more time with her, with my father, as if I’m leaving for good, as if I’m not going to see them for a long time.

I was watching today the movie Letters To Juliet, and it made me wonder about the “what if” issue. What if I was born in a different time, or different place, identity,,,what would it be like? Would I find the one in that other life? Would it be too late when I do? It was late better than never in the movie, but it is just a movie. Sometimes I love to think that everything will be ok, and I will not end up alone. But then things in life happen, things that till now not happening to me directly, thank God for that, but they might happen at any second,,,A terrorism act, an accident, a death. And the ironic part, is that am afraid that these things happen to you, before happening to me. I can’t help it but I would die if anything bad happen to you. I would not stand the idea and I can’t stand it.

I don’t know what the future holds for me from you, but like this boat in the picture I wish I can just sail away and go back to where we were before all these complications, or just stay away from all of this, like a thousand years apart from this.

It’s funny how I read about important events happening around the world, like the Women March for instance, women across the world are being united to stand for a powerful cause that I believe in, or the global warming happening that is getting worse year after year, and all those deaths and acts of terrorism or natural disasters,,,all this and I still keep you as a first in my mind; what you’re doing, are you happy, satisfied, are you going out, are you available,,,all these questions keep running through my mind, never answered or spoken out, keep me thinking about you every single day. And the problem is that you don’t talk, you never talk. You never express, or really care about any deep thought, feeling, anything that is not related to you. The problem is that you are always thinking that all I have to say or feel or be upset with is childish and over reacted. You are not seeing that am being hurt by this prejudice and your careless actions. But it won’t break me. The thing I’ve learned while reading about the events of Women March is the strength and will and ability and power of each individual will make our goals and dreams and hope reachable. I used to say I won’t give up on us, but you gave up and I can’t go on alone fighting for this, you wanted a way out and you got it. So I won’t break down. “When we are away from God, He misses us far more than we miss Him”

On your birthday, I got the quote “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope” strange coincidence and wish that I send to you with all my heart whenever you are and whatever you are doing and whoever you are with, always !

“At the end of your life you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.” “,,,Each friend was important,,, their words have seasoned my life. Influence, just like salt shaken out, is hard to see, but its flavor is hard to miss”

“According to the law of attraction, the path to eradicating disease is to fight it. if you decide you are going to fight a disease, your focus is on fighting the disease, and we attract what we are focusing on. Allow the doctors you have chosen to do their work, and keep your mind focused on well-being. Think thoughts of well-being. Speak words of well-being. And imagine yourself completely well” It’s like they knew I was sick, physically and morally. Powerful words to get over the disease and especially the disease of You.

“One of the biggest things you can do to change your circumstances around money is to take ten percent of what you receive and give it away. This is called the spiritual law of tithing, and it is the greatest action you can take to bring more money into your life,,,Appreciation of what you have brings what you want” with you, never a problem, even when I was broke, I never thought twice to help you in this matter, maybe now I understand that there are people who deserve this and people who don’t, and maybe now I realized that you were from the group that does not deserve, because you never really knew how to appreciate things you got and keep the people that deserve to be in your life. Some day you will realize how you did me wrong, and even if not, I will forgive you and pray for you to have always a good happy life.

No one can change anyone who does not want to change or see from different perspectives.”Never try to compel others to change; leave them free to change naturally and orderly because they want to; and they will want to when they find that your change was worthwhile. To inspire in others a desire to change for the better is truly noble; but this you can do only by leaving them alone, and becoming more noble yourself” This is what am trying to do, keep my distance for you to come around in case you think am worth it. But it seems that am not, so I’m letting go, and each time I would think of contacting you I will remind myself of this. Not easy at all, but will survive. I got through the worst so I will get through this, through you eventually. This is Good bye, for now !

 

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So Far Away

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“It’s never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise” “Where the soul is full of peace & joy, outward surroundings & circumstances are of comparatively little account”. I miss you, and I guess I will always do, and you seem so so far away these days, or even months. The closest moment I feel your presence is the days I pass by your work and I know you’re there. But I’m trying to let go and go on. And I’m doing fine, well at least not bad.

I know that what I’m thinking of these days is not the answer, but I started to believe that it might be the best. I’m thinking of what my life would be there, having a new life, a new style, a new world. I always wished to experience the lifestyle I see in the movies, well I guess “you’ve got mail” inspired me the most to imagine the life I could have, my life someday, maybe, who knows. Having usual places and surroundings to walk by, having a business for my own, a library maybe, go out at night to some familiar bar with friends, visit places I’ve always wanted to, attending concerts for my favorites,,,all these dreams seem now only couple of miles away, only if I let it happen. And am starting to think that this might be my destiny and future. Maybe it is the solution of getting over you. You’re like a quicksand that is eating me alive, so I must find my way to get out of it and be stronger. I have so much love I can give so I will embrace it.

“Love is the highest power we possess to be in complete harmony with the law of attraction. The more love we feel, the greater our power. The more selfless love we feel, the more unfathomable our power. The law of attraction has been called the law of love, because the law itself is a gift of love to humanity. It is the law by which we can create incredible lives for ourselves. The more love we feel, the greater our power to create a magnificent life of love, joy, and harmony,,,To be in harmony with the universe is the same feeling as when you float on water. If you are tense, or if you resist the water, you will sink. If you surrender to the water, the water will support you and you will float. That is the feeling, and that is how you harmonize yourself with the universe. Let the tension go and float!”

I’m letting go and let the fate happens. Que sera sera !

 

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It’s all coming back

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Last week was slow, sometimes exhausting yet interesting. I’m learning how to keep on moving with peace and happiness. I enjoyed a weekend away from people, from work, from everything, except the memories, which is not bad anymore, because there were bad and good times to remember, those good times for nostalgia and the bad ones for me keeping up with my distance from you.

Yet like a storm you come back hunting me again in my dreams, and it’s all coming back to me, just like the song of Celine Dion except without being that physical as the song. It made me smile, but anxious about what will happen next. It was the first time I dream of you since last time we met, the day of our fight. Maybe my subconscious was working because I spent last night searching through memories and thinking of the past, not with you with someone else even before you, but still maybe the idea of the past brought you to my dreams.

I held your hands, I run with you, I was out of your sight for a second so you started yell my name and you told me you were afraid I was gone, and I kissed you as a good luck for me because I had some sort of exam that I need to take. But somehow, my friend showed up and she kissed you, it made me jealous so I held you closer. I don’t know if I should be happy or sad, because the kiss in the dream might be a goodbye in reality. And although we did not end it up completely but I feel like it will be a goodbye soon. And maybe I got used to this distance between us but a real goodbye will be so hard for me to accept.

Today when I was chatting with the one from US, I wished so badly if he would be a little younger, then it would be the perfect timing and the perfect match. I keep on thinking about this age thing and about our interests, we have lot in common but sometimes I feel like I’m talking in a different language than he is that he is not understanding. I just wished it were you, same things we have in another person. I’m enjoying our talk from time to time but am so scared of this step. Am so scared of really really losing you this time.

All around me are keep on reminding me why I should not be upset and I should not think of you again, and they are right, I’m trying to. Sometimes I feel strong toward this situation sometimes I feel my tears coming down.

But I have faith in God, in love and in good. I know I will have something better to live for and to experience. It must be this way, if not with someone then with myself, I’m learning to enjoy my time and spend it the way I want without someone, and if the right one came then be it, if not then it’s ok. I accept what is coming for me. I have faith, always !

“Each one of us is God’s special work of art. Through us, he teaches and inspires, delights and encourages, informs and uplifts all those who view our lives” “The Lord your God,,,will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” “If we just give God the little that we have, we can trust Him to make it go around” “There’s something much more important than taking time and effort to make our outer being as lovely as possible,,,unless we are growing beautiful on the inside, our efforts to be glamorous on the outside are useless” “Love is a great beautifier” “To love what you do and feel that it matters, how could anything be more fun” “Be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you” “When we do what is right, we have contentment, peace, and happiness”.

“There are two words, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words that, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will create miracles in your life, wipe out negativity, and bring you abundance in all things. Two words that, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces in the Universe to move all things for you. There are just two words standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams,,,Thank you !” Sometimes also they came out with an act, and sincerely the only time I felt an act of thank you was when I was invited from you without any reason.

But if I will keep on thinking about it, I will fall again, because I was told that my life is a “reflection of what you hold inside you, and what you hold inside you is always under control. You are a unique and magnificent human being. Of all the billions of people on the planet, there is not another you, and your very existence is vital to the functioning of our Universe, because you are one part of the whole Universe. All that you seem and all that there is, could not exist without you ! Sit down comfortably. Notice how you are feeling, and relax your entire body,,, Repeat this deeper relaxing,,, each time relaxing as much as you can,,,you are more in harmony with the universe and the law of attraction ! Persist,,,you will become so aware of the words that people speak, especially when they speak of things they don’t want. You will become so aware of the words that you speak,,,Each of us is attracting in every moment of our lives. So when you feel that the law isn’t working for you because you don’t have what you want, realize that the law is responding to you. You are either attracting what you want or you are attracting the absence of what you want”. “The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”

The last part for today is my favorite, because for a long time I ask why is the reason “Beginning to ask questions about life is a sign you are having a major breakthrough. The truth of Life is right here for everybody, as it has always been, but only the ones who ask questions receive the answers and discover the truth. When we ask questions, deeply wanting to know the answers, we will attract the answers in a form that we can understand. To receive answers in life, you must begin to ask !” I can tell from what I know till now, my answer is to love and give love and happiness with humor sometimes to all people around me so that they feel better and happy. My answer is in my writing, although they are silly and no one would read them but they are for me and they are important to me to express myself when no one is hearing and no one around.

And through out all of this, you still and will be in my mind, my kind of storm and thoughts and prayers and love. Till kingdom comes !

 

 

 

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Stormy Thoughts

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“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong – Ella Fitzgerald” “Happiness depends upon ourselves – Aristotle”. Am not giving up on hope and am not feeling sad but it seems sometimes that hope and love stand against me.

Every night I fight the urge feeling to talk to you because I might need my closure to turn the page, but then I remember that it’s not worth anything. It will always end up the same, me angry and writing you pages of endless words, and you so cool always not understanding what I mean and always underestimating my feelings and worries. So in the morning I give up on the idea. No matter how hurtful it might get, I keep on holding myself up.

Sometimes, I have this thought that everyone had their eyes on us, they wanted to be us, they wanted to steal what we had. And I guess they have won, because what we had once is destroyed, and I can feel their laugh at us. Envy have won, sadly and with disappointment because I thought what we had was so strong that can defeat anything, but again I was wrong.

Am focusing on filling my time with some things that I wanted to do and to have for many years, hoping that it will keep me a little distracted to get through things, especially when wanting to go out for a drink and no one is there. It’s not that bad to be all by myself, having some time for me. But I miss you and I guess I will never recover from missing you. I must go on. I will go on !

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